I Hate Pinatas Blog Tour

I HATE PINATAS

Surviving Life's Unexpected Surprises

A Memoir

by 

Heather Maloy

Heart surgery doesn't happen in a vacuum. This is what Heather Maloy learned first-hand when her son, Colman, was diagnosed in utero with a combination of congenital heart defects which are fatal without surgical intervention. I Hate Piñatas is a compelling story of hope and strength that vacillates between heartbreaking and outrageously funny as Maloy takes you through what three heart surgeries in three years looked like for one family. 

Author's Note: I Hate Piñatas is not an inspirational book, but rather a true and honest account of what we went through as a family. In my quest to keep it real, there are curse words contained within the story. However, it's my hope that this book will leave you feeling inspired.

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Awards won by I HATE PINATAS

• 2015 Independent Publisher Book Awards' Gold Medalist - Best Adult Non-Fiction E-Book
• Honorable Mention in the 2015 San Francisco Book Festival
• 2015 Indie Excellence Awards' Finalist - Memoir.

Kirkus Review

Maloy bares her heart (and sometimes her teeth) in an honest debut that’s both snarky and sweet.

It’s hard to imagine that a memoir about a baby with a rare heart defect could make readers laugh. But that’s what “Crazy Heart Mama” Maloy’s blunt South Texas voice does. Sometimes her irreverent humor feels more like whistling in the dark; e.g., when first finding out that something could be wrong with her baby, she sadly wonders if he’ll be a “bobblehead.” Other times, her gritty humor is a pressure valve releasing stress, albeit in a juvenile way, such as when she felt like telling her mother-in-law to “go eat a giant bag of dicks.” And there are a few startling admissions; for example, when sick baby Colman wouldn’t sleep, she almost called him a “little fucker.” But honesty is the beauty of Maloy’s to-the-point voice. What sleep-deprived mom hasn’t fantasized—even with a healthy baby—about handing her screaming bundle of poop to somebody else for eight hours? The fact is that when Colman was diagnosed with hypoplastic left heart syndrome and a leaky valve, Maloy rolled up her sleeves and became his biggest advocate. Describing Colman’s condition as being born with “half a heart,” Maloy adroitly details the excruciating choices she and her husband had to make. None of the options were good. The author’s brusque voice may make some readers flinch—at times, even her family thought she was cold—but there’s no doubt that she dearly loves her son. Whether it was caring for Colman’s bloody hernia, being covered in projectile vomit, or waiting through surgery during which her baby would be clinically dead, Maloy’s well-written, heart-rending story spares no detail.

A heartbreaking, inspirational account.

Heather Maloy works full-time as a court reporter in district court and writes sporadically on her blog, Crazy Heart Mama. 

She lives in San Antonio, Texas with her husband, three boys, and their dog Buster, who doesn't seem to mind that none of his people are dog people.

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*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Mariela's four Star Review*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* I hate Piñatas is definitely eye catching on its own. This book surprised me and had me on the edge. This writer had an amazing story to share and I was glad I read this story. It opens your eyes to how precious life can be especially that of a child. I might not be a mother myself, but my heart strings where definitely involved. I don't know if we would all react the way she did, but Heather was one tough cookie that will have you admiring her and her strengths. We don't always want to admit how we truly feel sometimes, but Heather's honesty about both her pregnancies was refreshing and an eye opener. To see how Colmans condition effect the entire family not just her was what made this story so inspiring and lifetime movie worthy. So many different personalities that just keeps you holding your breath at what would befall this family and how would they hold up against the odds. I was glad to see them overcome obstacles that could have headed in a different direction. I don't know how I would handle it if I had to deal with the unexpected as she did, but thanks to her story I will definitely be more attentive to my gut feelings, doing my research, and doing what I think is best regardless of how others view it. I found myself admiring Heather more and More as her story progressed. I must admit I had moments where I wondered if her marriage would hold, but they found a way. I felt sad to see the story end. I felt myself needing to know more informative details and how Colman continues progressing. For all this brave mothers out there continue doing what you do best by fighting for your babies and staying strong. This story is definitely a must read. And don't let the title fool you. I found myself laughing as well especially when the title finally came into play. Thank you Heather for sharing your story with us.